Adulting, Now I don't proclaim to be an expert and I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase thrown around a lot but to clear up any confusion urban dictionary defines ‘adulting’ as: “to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown-ups.” So adulting, well I've paid my overdraft off (YAY), I have a car loan and a 9-5 job and have been doing pretty grown up things like going to weddings. I know many of you asked me to share my tips about adulting so here goes....
After I left Uni I felt like I was on this roller coaster ride of emotions, entering the ‘adult’ world was scary. Now with responsibilities, car loans to pay off, important things to save for and a career AND social life to balance - ahhhhhh I hear you scream you know the feeling right? At Uni all I had to worry about was my assignments and what drink to have at pre drinks, life was simple. And to top it off, in those post Uni days I missed being young and reckless, everyone around me ‘seemed to have got their shit together’, whilst I felt like I was scrambling about just trying to live one day to the next, fighting a battle to sort myself out. But I want you to know that feeling is totally normal, you've just had a massive lifestyle change and the following tips I have for you, my mother told me, my brother told me and my boyfriend told me - but frankly sometimes it takes time for you to realise it for yourself....
You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else
Hard one, right? With our increasing addiction to social media, people are portraying this fake reflection of their lives – most show you what they want you to see; gifts from their lover, their new job promotion, their flat tanned stomach. But just because they are oversharing all the good things and aren’t shouting their fears, insecurities and short-comings with the world doesn’t mean they don’t have them, it doesn’t mean they are doing better. They aren’t. I bet they had an argument last night or went too much into their overdraft – did they post that? No, because everyone wants to appear perfect. But in reality, no one is perfect, everyone is different, and everyone has their own speed at doing things which leads me onto…
Stop caring what people think about you so much
Now of course you shouldn’t stop caring about other people completely - caring is great. However you need to work out who is actually worth it, because frankly the true people will love you whether you make 19k or 50k a year, the best people won’t constantly remind you about how much better they are supposedly doing than you. The good ones will be there at your worst a and at your best– it’s a two-way thing you support and advise in equal bouts. I learnt over time that during your life its quality not quantity and to watch your back for those who just reappear when they want something.
Don't judge before you listen
I think it’s human nature to feel like we know best. And sometimes you can see the bigger picture that your loved one can’t see, it’s easy to stand on the outside and feel like screaming at your friend for going back to that idiot yet again. You might think your best friend’s girlfriend is rude but perhaps shes just shy. But hey be patient and be kind. This world is pretty damn selfish so a bit of being nice goes a long way.
You don’t need to have it all figured out
Guess what - I don’t know what’s coming next either. I mean sure I have ideas of what would make me happy, but I know that if things are meant to be they will work out. I’m not constantly worried about figuring it all out anymore. In those post Uni times when I felt like ‘OH MY GODDDDDD I need to know sort myself out’ the quote right up the top was a super helpful reminder that in fact it times time to figure things out and you’ll get there. Panic not.
AND finally and most importantly...
Happiness comes when you accept and love yourself
I think I’m in a fairly decent place right now, I have a creative job that pays well so I can save for holidays and for more grown up things like a house deposit. I have loads of hobbies that I’m passionate about, a loving family and great friends. And I’m in love with someone who makes me laugh and loves me for who I am. I’m confident in being me, I don't need to change anything, it feels great. But you need to truly love yourself - remember you are awesome and don’t let any minor set back tell you otherwise
So when you accept all of these adulting tips and realise you’re in a good place, life is damn awesome but its fragile and short so don’t forget to enjoy every second.
And there aren't any magical fixes there will be good days and bad days and hey not everything is perfect but you have to hold you head high, stand up for what you believe in and carry on because that’s what being a adult is really about.